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I’m sorry.
I know it’s too late but I’m sorry nonetheless. I apologize for a lot of things but most of all, I apologize for not having loved you as I should have. For drawing back, for keeping a big part of myself to myself.
I’m sorry I was scared. You see – love makes you vulnerable. Love means being responsible for someone else and vice versa. I knew I could make you unbelievably happy. The thing is – I didn’t, can’t, trust you to do the same for me. And I know it wasn’t really fair because you gave it your all while I only gave what I can.
I’m sorry for pushing you away, I realize that now. The tantrums, the mood swings, the cravings, the cold shoulders, the flirting – all those were made to test you. I’m sorry. I was pushing you away because in my heart I know, I didn’t deserve it. How could I when I love you less? And every time you handled the tantrums, ignored the mood swings, dealt with my cravings, endured through the cold shoulders and the flirting — every single time — I realize the pitiable extent of my feelings compared to yours. What was it again — the brighter the light is, the darker the shadows that lurk?
I’m sorry, I really am.
